Back and Forth

Well this isn't the Part 2 I thought it would be but I guess it will have to do.  It is 1 AM here in California and I am sitting here anxious for my appt tomorrow.  I feel like I have been walking on egg shells over the last week and a half from when I got the initial call from my Primary Doctor until now. 

  It seems all that I have been doing is going back and forth with my husband....On why he doesn't seem very interested on this disease or condition or whatever you want to call it.  Every night I feel like I am asking him the same things over and over which is just starting little arguments which are driving us apart at the time when I feel I need him the most.  Believe me I am not trying to pass it off as if he is the problem,  I know that I can get in my own head about things and I am fully aware that that is what I am doing right now.  I just wish that we were on the same page with this particular issue!

  He read my blog earlier tonight and took offense to me saying that he was ignoring the situation all together.  He stated that his not wanting to look at or hear any information about the Chiari's is because he wants to enjoy whatever time we had before we went to the Neurologist.  He just wanted to enjoy the time he had with his wife because he feels that tomorrows appt is a GAME CHANGER.  Which if you think about it...it is...Its just that Serge and I want the situation to go in 2 completely different directions.

  Where as I want them to look at the MRI do some more tests and tell me YES I am a candidate for the Brain Surgery.....Serge well he doesn't want them to do the surgery, he is concerned that I will have the surgery put both myself and my family through the recovery and then BOOM symptoms are back even worse than before.  Granted he has good reason for feeling this way as this is what happened when I received my Full Hysterectomy! There was only a 20% chance that I would have residual pain and guess what sometimes I think I am in  even more pain which has made me think the Hysterectomy was the worst decision I have ever made.  So he is worried about that aspect. 

  I on the other hand just want to know that there is a chance that I could feel better.  I tried to tell him that of course there is a chance I could get worse.  But the life that I am living now is definitely not working.  I need to do something and if I am lucky enough to qualify for this Surgery well that's what I will do............

  Wish me Luck and thanks for Reading!!!!!!